A New Journey!

Change they say is constant. However, it brings with it the surge of fear and knots in the belly. A journey to unknown territories is one that is quite difficult to make but once embarked on, brings fulfillment like never known before even with its challenges and difficulties.

Starting a blog has been a journey I’ve know I wanted to embark on but the claws of fear and the need for the right timing always seemed to hold me back. Today am facing that fear head long with a whole lot of knots in my belly with questions like “what if it isn’t successful?”. At least then I’ll know I did try.

This is a journey and like the rising sun, it gets brighter with each second that passes!

As a Chinese saying by  Laozi goes

” A journey of a thousand miles begins with a step”

This is my first step to greatness. Good luck to me!!!!

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The Power of Your Words

A happy 😊 2019 to my esteemed readers and loyal followers. Thank you for a great experience last year as we look forward to an even more amazing 😉 year! To kickstart the year, I thought of what better way to inspire than making my first post of the year about the power of our words be it spoken or written. As it is rightly said,

“Anytime someone has your ear, they influence you “

WORDS, is a five letter word that carries so much depth and power. People make use of different varieties and combinations of words daily to communicate either by speaking, writing, listening or reading.

Have you thought about your words lately? They are powerful and can either tear down or build up, encourage or discourage, heal or wound and poison or nourish. Have you ever said something and instantly wished you never said it? Well that’s just how much weight words carry. Most times we speak even before we give our words a proper thought just to consider the impact it would have on those we used them on.

Words don’t just impact once, they impact over and over again. The things that you say today, write or post today will live in the hearts and minds of people much more longer than you remember saying them as words stay with people for a long, long time. You can forget the actions of people but you might never forget the words they spoke to you whether uplifting and most especially when those words put you down.

Words create pictures in our minds which helps to either grow or wither our self image. Don’t ever underestimate the power of your words as what you speak, you call into being. Your words decide your future as you are today what you said you were yesterday and what you believed others said. Learn to speak words of boldness, confidence, admiration, courage, respect, esteem and most of all love.

The book of Proverbs 18, verse 21 says, “Death and Life are in the power of the tongue and those who love it will eat its fruit”. You have been given the power to pour a soothing balm on others – over and over again. Words of wisdom, blessing, grace, encouragement, intercession, gratitude, praise, compliments, belief and faith should be far from our lips.

So in this New Years, let’s bear the following principles in mind when next we decide to use our words.

  • More words, greater responsibility and accountability with God and people.
  • We all offend others with our words but we owe it to ourselves to minimize just how much we do.
  • Your words are a rudder of your life.
  • Your words reveal the state of your heart and mind.
  • Your words can do long term destruction.
  • Your words are easily consumed by others which can in turn impact their life for a pretty long time.

Choose today to use your words to edify others and yourself.

Enjoy the very best 2019 has to offer 🎉🎊🍾❤️❤️❤️

Loads of love ❤️💕💕

Rlyn®

Positive Coping Techniques To Relieve Stress

Life is hard and tough times even harder and particularly difficult. People of all ages are stressed and a significant number feel their coping abilities are inadequate.

With people feeling more and more stressed as they tackle competing priorities, demanding schedules, making money and negative self talk which affects our health both physically and emotionally, the only way out is to arm oneself with positive coping techniques.

Coping techniques are strategies we often use in the face of stress and/or trauma to help manage painful or difficult emotions. These strategies helps us adjust to stressful events while also helping us maintain our emotional wellbeing.

The following are some positive coping techniques you can use when having a stressful day or filled with negative self talks:

Diversions

  1. Sing or dance
  2. Take a shower
  3. Take a walk, or go for a drive
  4. Watch television or a movie
  5. Go shopping
  6. Clean or organize your closet
  7. Read

Cognitive (Of the Mind)

  1. Make a gratitude list
  2. Keep an inspirational quote with you
  3. Be flexible and pamper yourself
  4. Act opposite of negative feelings
  5. Write a list of strengths

Tension Releasers

  1. Exercise or play sports
  2. Catharsis (yelling into a pillow, punching a punching bag)
  3. Cry
  4. Laugh

Physical

  1. Get enough sleep
  2. Get into a good routine
  3. Eat healthy foods but also eat a little chocolate
  4. Deep/slow breathing

Spiritual

  1. Pray or meditate
  2. Enjoy nature
  3. Get involved in a worthy cause

Limit Setting

  1. Drop some involvement
  2. Prioritize important tasks
  3. Use assertive communication
  4. Schedule time for yourself

Never let stress get the better of you when you can easily arm yourself with these strategies!

P.S. if you haven’t read my article on the S.O.S Method, you can here

~Rlyn

Using the S.O.S Method to break the Negative Self Talk Cycle.

A man once said that “a bad attitude is like a flat tire which if not changed, only makes you feel like you’re making progress but in reality, you’re just stuck” Negative thoughts also work that way. One can even say they do much more damage.

It’s always easy to speak positively into people’s lives but when we’re going through the same situations, we are quickly burdened with lots of negative self talk.

We all have that inner critic which sometimes can actually be helpful and keeps us motivated towards out goals. However, it can quickly become more harmful when it gets into the realm of excessive negativity.

Negative self talk is any inner dialogue you have with yourself that may be limiting your ability to believe in yourself or ability to reach your full potential. It can take many forms; it can sound grounded (I’m not good at this so why even try to attempt it) or mean (I’m so stupid, I never seem to get anything right). It may be a feeling of being a realistic appraisal of a situation or a fear-based fantasy.

Whichever it may be, negative self talk is bad for the overall system. Researchers estimate that we think about 50,000 to 70,000 thoughts a day and about 80% of those thoughts are negative. That’s definitely a crazy amount of negative self talk!

Negative self talk has the potential to increase stress levels, lower self esteem and confidence, decrease motivation, lead to depression and ultimately stunt growth and success. All these only leads to a lot of mental and emotional suffering which diminishes you and cripples your ability to make any positive change in your life.

Now shifting negative thoughts to positive ones is easier said than done for many. I find it quite a daunting task sometimes. But often times, the best way to change how we feel is to change how we think. Specifically, we can learn to change how we talk to ourselves using the S.O.S Method to isolate and change negative self talk.

With this method, all you need to do is to first STOP and interrupt the process. Don’t think further on that particular thought. Next is to OBSERVE how that particular thought make you feel. What emotions is it raising up in you? And then finally, you SHIFT your thoughts to positive coping techniques (which I’ll go more in depth on in my next post. P.S. keep an eye out😉😊). Some of these positive techniques could be reflecting on some nice things you like about yourself, listening to uplifting songs or reading inspirational books or just talking a walk.

Changing our thoughts won’t change reality but, it just might change how we feel about it. And we already know that attitude is everything!

~Rlyn

Weekly Tips: Always maintain a Positive Attitude

Life is already hard as it is and looking at it through the lens of “negativism” only makes it worse.

It’s funny how the mind works. Whenever we are in a fix, the first thing the mind does is to play out all the terrible outcomes of that situation and magnifying the problem which if we only step back a bit and viewed it positively, wouldn’t be that bad after all.

But here’s the hard part. Being positive doesn’t always come natural. It’s easier to see what’s going wrong than what already is going good. And that’s the irony of life. It doesn’t take a lot to be negative or to think negative thoughts, life has that covered with lots of disappointments, hardship, broken relationships and what not. But being positive in those situations takes a whole lot of effort on our part.

You know how there is always an exception to a rule right, there are really a few people who being positive comes naturally for them. No matter what life throws at them, they remain unrivalled. If you have them as friends, then you are indeed blessed. I’m blessed to have one as a husband. Try surrounding yourself with a lot of positive people, messages and thoughts. It takes effort but we all know that anything good sure takes work so put in the work to maintain a Positive Attitude.

“Always do your best to keep a Positive Attitude”

~Rlyn

Learn to Love And Celebrate Where You Are In Life At The Moment.

I consider this article to be timely as we’re in the last month of the year 2018 and fast approaching the New Year. This is not only significant in terms of loving ourselves but in life generally, we tend to be too hard on ourselves when it comes to our goals, family,dreams, success and what not.

I have been struggling with this for a while and I know people out there also go through this. And it’s okay to sometimes feel like you’re stuck or feel afraid but never let it lead you to been ungrateful that you loose sight of how much you’ve already accomplished as a person.

Yes you might have not gotten that dream job or husband/wife, probably haven’t lost that excess weight yet or haven’t risen to the pinnacle of your career or what ever it is that you desire or think you should have accomplished by now. And yes the year is almost over and probably more than half your goals are still staring at you un-achieved; you have pictured the year ending better than this or even your life as a whole different from what it is right now but here’s the secret:

“Stop hating yourself for everything you aren’t and start loving yourself for everything you already are”

Celebrate your process, be thankful for how far you’ve gotten and always remember that whatever situation you find yourself could have been worse. I know it sucks when everyone around you seem to look like they are doing something great with their lives and making impact but the reverse is the case for you. Trust me I feel like that sometimes too. But you know what, no one’s life is perfect. They might be where you dream of right now or have the things you wish you had but that doesn’t mean they are without problems and sometimes even bigger than yours.

Success is not universal but individual. Define success for you! Who says you have to always achieve every single goal you set. It’s okay to fall short sometimes and it’s totally okay if you’ve still not figured your life out. If only you are completely honest to yourself, you’d realize that where you are at the moment is definitely not where you used to be so be thankful instead of being grouchy.

You might not have achieved it all but you certainly have already achieved a lot. Another thing, never let anyone belittle how much you’ve achieved in your life. It may not be up to their standard of what they consider to be an achievement but it ain’t their life so scr*w them and go on with your life. Who set those standards anyway? Set your own standard of what you consider to be a successful life and squash it and even if you don’t, who cares. You are having fun, your growing and most importantly, you’re becoming better. And that’s all that matters.

So let go of the pity party, stop over criticizing yourself and most importantly stop robbing yourself off the joy of the moment. When we begin to enjoy where we are and are thankful, it opens us up to the possibilities of where we could be and even though we aren’t there yet, we still have joy and hope. Try to find fulfillment at every level of life you are, start counting your blessing and you’ll be surprised you have much more than you initially thought!

So here’s to ending the year without fussing over un-achieved goals and loving where we are at the moment!

Bear hugs!

Weekly Tips: INTEGRITY

Integrity is not what you appear to be when all eyes are on you. It’s who you are when no one’s looking. It’s a level of morality below which you’ll never fall, a principle you’ll never break matter what is happening around you.

It is a high standard of honesty, truthfulness, decency and honor that is never breached. It is always treating others how you would like to be treated.

Integrity is choosing to practice our values rather than just professing them. Many people are intelligent and full of energy but behind closed doors, their true nature is revealed.

Having integrity means you are authentic and even when push comes to shove, you’ll never take the easy way out or pick comfort over the truth.

So remember, when dealing with people always look out for the authentic for that is where true integrity dwells.

Keep an eye out for the next tip.

Bear hugs,

Rlyn